There are many reasons couples come to sex therapy. These four are the most common:
Couples seek sex therapy to see if they are normal.
Rest assured, whether you worried are about anatomy, sexual abilities, activities or dysfunctions, many others have had your concerns. If your sexual activities are consensual and pleasurable for both people, they are normal.
Real sex isn’t like it is on TV or in porn videos. Those are actors having choreographed fantasy sex. Many people think there is something wrong if their relationship doesn’t seem as exciting as it is on the screen. This can lead individuals to feel bad and build unrealistic expectations.
Couples come for sex therapy when one has a lower libido.
For many women, and more and more men, desire for spontaneous sex drops as they age, gain responsibilities and spend more years together. The road back is making your partner feel valued and appreciated, and giving nonsexual touches–like caressing your partner’s hair or rubbing her back. Good feelings can lead back to desire in the mind, which may follow in the body. Desire doesn’t always have to come first.
Sex therapy clients often ask about sexting.
Flirting outside of marriage is as old as marriage itself, but today it is easier than ever. Finding out a partner is sexting often makes a person feel hurt—mostly by the secrecy. If the flirter shares what they are doing and why, sexting can actually bring a couple closer.
Couples seek therapy after infidelity.
They wonder if they can be sexual with their partner again after one of them has been unfaithful. It is possible, but it takes deep and honest talking that creates vulnerability (and, ironically, intimacy). You have to both be willing to connect in a new way.