Having Trouble with Your Erection?

Were you hoping to have long-lasting erections again, but still to no avail? Don’t be afraid to ask your partner for help and support.

It might be time to see a sex therapist for your erection problems. Before you decide on that, let’s talk about the signs of erectile dysfunction (ED):

  • Trouble getting hard (can’t get an erection)
  • Get hard but it doesn’t last (can’t keep an erection)
  • Can’t drink alcohol and get hard (no erection while intoxicated)
  • Softer erections than normal
  • Reduced sensitivity in the penis region
  • Ruled out a medical condition by a urologist
  • Tried more than one prescription ED medication

Reasons Erections Change

There could be many reasons why your erection is not the same as it used to be.

With age, your body changes and things may slowly decline. Erections can be linked to health problems. Conditions associated with ED include high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, high cholesterol and others.

Substance abuse or alcohol consumption can alter your body’s functioning. It’s also normal to experience a soft erection under stress or facing a  worrisome decision—whether the situation is associated with sex or not. Diet can be a factor as well.

Three Ways Sex Therapy Can Help Erection Issues

  1. In sex therapy, we discuss the 10 Myths Surrounding Male Arousal and Performance, such as “Touching means you want sex,” “A man is already ready for sex,” and “Good sex is spontaneous with no planning or talking.” Debunking these myths openly with your partner and therapist can greatly improve communication around intimacy.
  2. We also explore whether you are experiencing one or more of five psychological states often associated with ED: depression, anxiety, guilt, marital discord and sexual trauma. Victims of adult-child sexual abuse are three times more likely to experience ED than others, and prescription anti-depressants can affect sexual performance.
  3. Sensate Focus Exercises are an excellent way to reduce the pressure of sexual expectation and increase intimacy. With the guide of a therapist, couples are encouraged to be intimate (in the privacy of their own bedrooms) with touch, embracing with warmth of each other’s skin and kissing, without necessarily having intercourse.

Therapy is often successful in restoring long-lasting erections. But there more to intimacy than penetration. Penis-in-vagina sex is not the most common way for women to achieve orgasm, so your partner may be delighted if you focus on other ways of pleasuring her.

Working with your partner and therapist, you can build a deeper, more satisfying sexual relationship, whether or not your erectile function returns to what it was before.