Stop Believing these Myths about Sex

couple holding hands

Intercourse doesn’t burn a ton of calories. Nor does it affect sports performance dramatically. And a woman’s vagina doesn’t reveal how many partners she has had. These are just three of the many myths that cloud our thinking about intimate encounters.

Here are more:

There’s a Decade of Difference Between Women’s and Men’s Sexual Peaks

Men peak around age 18; women in their mid-twenties. But frequency also matters to sexual peak. Desire constantly fluctuates in both genders, and is related to many factors.

Chocolate and Oysters Enhance Sex

Oysters contain zinc, which is good for sperm health. Several studies tie chocolate to lower blood pressure and better blood vessel functioning, which may enhance blood flow to the genitals.

Men Have a Sexual Thought Every Seven Seconds 

A 2011 Journal of Sex Research study tallied up the number of times people thought about sex per day–238 university students kept track of their thoughts about food, sex and sleep for a week.

The males averaged about 19 sex thoughts per day; females 11.

Most Women Orgasm During Sexual Intercourse

A 2017 Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy study found only 18.4 percent of women said intercourse alone led them to an orgasm; 36.6 percent said clitoral stimulation was needed. Another 36 percent said, while it was not required, their O felt bigger if their clitoris was massaged. This is a major misconception we address in Charlotte based couples therapy practice.

Women Need More Time to Reach Peak Arousal

A Journal of Sexual Medicine 2007 study used thermal imaging to measure genital blood flow in 28 men and 30 women viewing erotic videos.

The researchers found arousal time, measured by time to peak genital temperature while viewing the movies, was the same in both sexes.

Sexting Hurts Relationships

When it’s done consensually in a committed, stable relationship, sexting can be fun.

Sending sexy messages and pictures to your honey increases not only your sexual satisfaction but your overall happiness in the union, according to a 2015 study on sexting. The loyalty part may be key, however, as people who identified as single found sexting to be a turn-off.

Sex Requires Intercourse

“Intercourse” generally refers to penis-in-vagina sex. But sex can, and should, include more. It has an emotional piece that encompasses a wide variety of intimate activities, which may or may not include penetration. Requiring intercourse in every sexual encounter can be problematic for people dealing with issues like painful intercourse, erectile dysfunction or sexual trauma. (Professional sex therapy counselors here in Charlotte and most cities can help with all three).

A Younger Partner Means Better Sex

While a May-December union works for some, a study published in the Review of Economics and Statistics found it wasn’t always best, at least for marrieds. Researchers found those with a spouse much younger or older had lower earnings and education levels than couples of similar ages.

Breakup Sex is Bad

Hooking up with your ex doesn’t necessarily prevent moving on, according to a 2018 study published in The Archives of Sexual Behavior. Researchers found people who pursued intimacy with an ex were more likely to be emotionally attached to their former lover, but the sex itself didn’t increase their distress, intrusive thoughts or sadness.

Using Sex Toys is Cheating

It’s not a less-authentic encounter if you bring toys or masturbation into solo or partnered sex. We all need a helping hand sometimes, even if it’s our own. It’s fine to touch yourself during sex, or encourage your partner to do so.