If you are having conflicts in the bedroom, a sex therapist may be able to help. They will be a neutral party who can listen to both sides of any issue, and help you create a solution. If you are facing any of the concerns listed below, a sex therapist might be just the ticket:
-
Intercourse hurts
See a medical doctor first to rule out any physical conditions behind this. Among other things, endometriosis, cervical inflammation from an infection and uterine fibroids can cause painful sex.
If your doctor doesn’t find any physical reasons for your pain, that doesn’t mean it isn’t real. Talking to a sex therapist about the psychological aspects of your situation can make all the difference in your relationship.
For instance, vaginismus, which causes painful vaginal muscle spasms during penetration, can stem from sexual anxiety. It can also happen due to post-traumatic stress disorder from a sexual assault.
Stress can be involved in erectile dysfunction as well. The mental and physical are often closely intertwined.
-
You have endured sexual trauma
It is not true that sexual assault leaves all survivors incapable of being sexually healthy. Enjoying intimacy after trauma is possible, and PTSD therapy can help you move past the past.
-
You and your partner’s desires don’t match up
One person may have higher libido than the other, or one may be interested in exploring BDSM (Bondage, Sadism, Dominance, and Masochism), and the other is not.
While having a kink is becoming more accepted, disclosing one can still be scary. If one person has a fantasy that the other person can’t stomach, a sex therapist can help you come together with other creative ideas.
If necessary, a sex therapy professional can also guide you through determining whether the two of you are compatible. Working with a sex therapist together may help the couple determine whether to salvage the relationship or bring it to a respectful end.
-
You want a more open relationship
A sex therapist can help a couple craft relationship rules that allow both people to feel fulfilled and safe. That can mean everything from permission to have a single one-night stand annually while in another country, to dating multiple people.
Working with an impartial professional can help ensure that no one is giving in due to pressure, and both partners are respectful of each other’s boundaries.
-
You have gender identity or sexual orientation questions
While the fight continues to have everyone’s gender identity respected, figuring out the right words or expression for your gender can be daunting. A sex therapist, particularly an LGBTQ-friendly one, may be able to help you alone or with a partner.
A sex therapist can help you navigate questions, reassure you there’s nothing wrong with you, and aid you in your journey of self-discovery. This can be especially helpful if you’re in a committed relationship and are sexually curious about other genders.
A sex therapist can also be useful if you think you might be asexual. There is nothing abnormal about not wanting sex, as long as you and your partner are OK with that.
-
You want to overcome sexual shame
A sex therapist can help you deal with something that brings you shame–even if that emotion is totally unwarranted.
Shame has a way of making you feel you’re not normal, which can get in the way of enjoying a healthy sex life. But it can be almost impossible to escape shame without consulting a sex therapy professional.