Things You Must Know About Infidelity in Any Relationship

photo portraying infidelity

Whether in a childhood game of tag on the playground, or with major life issues as two adults in a relationship, being cheated on is absolutely no fun.

In a romantic relationship, the act of cheating is a heartbreaker. The Oxford dictionary says infidelity is “the action or state of being unfaithful to a spouse or other sexual partner.”

In Charlotte, Kim Ronk can help you with infidelity issues, including finding a way to forgive and rebuild your relationship.

Why people cheat:

  • Lack of happiness in the relationship
  • Feeling lost or disconnected with a part of themselves
  • Taking advantage of an unexpected opportunity

Not here to make excuses for those who cheat, Kim focuses on helping people understand the roots of these actions and what can be done to help their relationships survive.

The Most Common Causes of Infidelity

The most-cited cause of infidelity is emotional disconnection. The person committing adultery claims to have a large void in their lives. This is often described as feeling:

  1. underappreciated,
  2. unloved,
  3. lonely and/or
  4. depressed

When these feelings remain for long periods of time, they turn into anger and resentment. This is usually when infidelity occurs. The person feeling detached will blame the other partner for not paying enough attention to them, etc.

Types of Cheating

“Cheating” can be emotional or physical. Both hurt.

Getting past the pain is a process. There can be many other emotions involved: embarrassment, shame, guilt, anger and sadness. People who have been cheated on go through a rollercoaster of loving and hating their spouse.

Healing After an Affair

The hurt partner often experiences intense emotional pain, while the one who strayed might grapple with guilt and remorse.

In such a situation, sex therapy with Kim Ronk in Charlotte can provide the structured and supportive environment couples need to navigate their way through the weeks, months and years after infidelity.

It takes 18 months to two years to heal from infidelity. It will take time to decide if you want to continue the relationship, and Kim can help with that process. Once you decide, you can move forward. Know you will not be in distress every day for two years.

There are no sure-fire ways to get through, but there are things you can do to move past the hurt, pain, and stress:

  1. Write down your thoughts and feelings and discuss them with a trusted counselor.
  2. A breach of trust is cause for grief. Allow yourself time to go through the Five Stages of Grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance). They don’t always come in order; you may experience several at once.
  3. Eat, sleep and exercise. Staying physically healthy actually helps your mental state.
  4. Take up a new hobby or get back to one. Pamper yourself, learn something new or read something entertaining.
  5. Understand how and why the affair occurred. A sex therapist or marriage counselor like Kim Ronk in Charlotte can be a huge help, whether you go alone or with your partner.
  6. Be patient. Forgive the affair, whether you decide to stay with your partner or not, for your own health.


Believe it or not, infidelity can actually be a catalyst for personal growth and self-awareness. Couples counseling encourages each person explore their emotions, motivations and goals, as an individual and a couple.

Healing from infidelity is not quick or easy, but it is possible with commitment and effort from both partners. Relationship counseling can provide direction and structure to enable healing.

Don’t Go it Alone

You don’t have to go through this difficult life event by yourself. Counseling regarding infidelity issues with Charlotte’s Kim Ronk can be a lifeline for couples after an affair. It offers a safe space for expression, professional guidance and a structured approach to healing and rebuilding trust.