Myth 1: We Are All Very Comfortable with Sex— We Are Liberated
The media is great at sending sexual messages and portraying male and female roles, but all of it is fantasy based. Wonder where all these sex myths come from? They’re omnipresent in our culture and can start affecting us the minute we’re born. Whether we know it or not. Whether we want it or not. We all have sensitivities and insecurities about sex, and these messages can alter our minds. We can, however, become sexually conscious and start to do, think, and try something different! It is all within our power to change.
Myth 2: Real Men Aren’t Into Feelings and Communication
Men do have trouble expressing feelings. They aren’t supposed to be comfortable or have needs around feelings, so they often express them through sex. While women easily express themselves through verbal communication, men tend to perpetuate the non-communicative stereotype, which can lead to distance and lack of communication, especially regarding issues that are necessary for our health. Stereotypes or not, we shouldn’t avoid communicating about birth control and STDs. It’s pretty important stuff to be sharing!
Another type of misinformation is that men don’t have personal problems. The truth is, they have just as many personal problems as women, including sexual ones. So, open up guys and share your feelings. Your relationship will only benefit, and you may even have more and better sex!
Myth 3: Touching Means You Want Sex
Touching can mean different things for males and females.
Women tend to touch for the close feelings that are presently being felt, a hug for the sake of a hug. Men tend to touch for a means to an end… sexual intercourse. This creates problems down the road for those who just want to lie close to each other and be in the moment. Pressure is than placed on the act of sex and orgasm, rather than being emotionally connected.
It also creates problems when the man has erectile dysfunction.
The next two myths relate in similar ways to the preceding myth, and myths four, five, six, and seven have to do with the male genitalia.
Myth 4: A Man is Always Ready and Wanting Sex
In most cases, sexual interest is learned. Manhood is about always being interested in having sex and never saying no.
Contrary to popular belief, men would greatly benefit from saying no when they’re not in the mood. This will not only lead to less performance problems, but more intimate moments and nurturing from our partner. This brings more intimacy into relationships and everyone needs that.
Listen to your own needs; this would require you to tap into your feelings, which can be difficult. But it’s a necessary skill for living happily ever after.
Young males are often pushed too soon into feeling like they need to have sex. Author and clinical psychologist, Bernie Zilbergeld, once said, “If you aren’t ready to talk to someone about sex, and if you aren’t ready to ask them for a back rub or a hug, you’re definitely not ready to have good sex with them.”
Myth 5: A Real Man Always Performs
Once again, society rears its ugly head on what human male sexuality should be.
It’s all about performance and men proving something to themselves and others. If the woman doesn’t get to climax, then he has failed. That’s a pretty awful way to end such a beautiful exchange.
<< See Part Two of the Male Sexual Arousal article by clicking here