Finding a Therapist Who Can Help
Finding the best sex therapist in Charlotte, North Carolina, means finding the best sex therapist for you and your partner. Everyone is different and each situation is unique.
What’s most important is that you (or you and your partner if you go as a couple) feel comfortable working with the counselor. Shop around, ask for references, check credentials, and meet with a few practitioners before you make a decision.
You want someone who respects your sexual beliefs and behaviors, and can genuinely help with your situation. The best local sex therapist is the one who can help YOU.
It might take trying a few therapists before you find one that’s a good fit.
Here are a few tips to aid your search:
Ask These Questions
Tell Me about your Clients
While many psychiatrists, marriage counselors and clinical social workers can help with sexual issues, they often approach them through more generalized relationship counseling.
Sex therapists like me have special training in methods of resolving sexual challenges quickly. Without wasting a lot of time on tangential issues, we zero in on concerns such as:
- desire and arousal
- premature ejaculation
- erectile dysfunction
- low libido
- lack of sexual confidence
Share Some of your Accomplishments
There’s nothing wrong with coming right out and asking about the therapist’s successes; after all, you only want to consider counselors who have a track record of satisfied clients with your issues.
I consider it a mark of my success that many Kim Ronk clients return months or years after completing a round of therapy, either bringing a new problem to my attention, or simply looking for a tune-up.
They come back because the therapy worked before and they are still together.
How do you Define “Normal Sexual Activity?”
I decided when I became a sex therapist that I would keep an open mind and not judge with whom or how often clients want to engage in their choice of mutually-satisfying sexual activities.
When you vet possible therapists, be honest about your situation and the difficulties you are facing. Ask if they have dealt with that issue before, and whether the outcome was satisfactory to their clients.
How do you Approach Sexual Problems?
My process, and one I recommend to my Charlotte colleagues, is to methodically consider all possible sources of a problem, including:
Once the origin(s) of the problem are found, I take into account you and your partner’s perspectives on them. I present a treatment plan that blends my findings with your thoughts, desires and motivations for treatment.
After we agree on a treatment plan, we discuss strategies for executing the plan. I assign homework for practicing new behaviors and language at home. Each session, we assess how the homework went, and what changes need to be made to the plan for greater success.
Every time we meet, I ask for your feedback. If the plan isn’t working, we will adapt it to your needs.
Stop seeing any sex therapist who will not do so!
What do you Find Works Best for Most Couples?
If a therapist you are considering has a ready answer, beware! The best sex therapists in Charlotte each have a tool kit of solutions that can be tailored to the needs of each couple.
I would never try to coerce a person who wants less sex into wanting more, for example. My goal is always and only to make sexuality a satisfying part of each person’s life again; not just intercourse, but true intimacy.
Should We Get Individual Therapy, Couple’s Therapy or Both?
Each person plays a role in the sexual health of a relationship. If one partner requires more direct individual work, they may be referred to another therapist before couples therapy can be effective.
My process includes taking a complete sexual history of each partner–including their current issue(s)–before formulating a treatment plan and starting the couple’s work.
In my practice, everything that may be affecting the intimacy of the relationship is addressed. Each partner must do their own individual work, of course. Individual sessions are usually part of the therapy, although the couple is seen together for most sessions.
Like everything else I do, this decision is tailored to the needs of the couple.
Make the Decision Together
Both you and your partner must be committed to the sex therapy process for it to work. You both have to trust your therapist and be willing to speak openly and honestly with him or her, and with each other.
The best sex therapist in Charlotte, North Carolina, is the one who can understand and respect your unique situation and guide you through a solution that fits.