Getting the Most Out of Sex Therapy

man and woman kissing

Sex therapy can be rough. You may have to talk about things you have long avoided, or dig into issues that have caused many a sleep-on-the-couch night.

But in order to get the most out of your counseling sessions, you have to be willing to speak honestly, own your contributions to the problem, and face “homework” with a positive attitude.

Here are some concrete ways to make faster progress in sex therapy:

        1. Ask for exercises that reduce both the physical and emotional negatives associated with your sexual problem. These could be relaxation techniques, ways to measure your pleasure, or exercises that help you get in touch with your own body.
        2. You won’t make progress if you are not completely open with your therapist about your sex history and current physical/emotional experiences of intimacy. They have to understand where you are coming from, where you are now and where you want to go into order to be helpful.
        3. Ask for help with finding the language to discuss your situation and get constructive feedback. Speaking clearly about sexual issues can feel embarrassing, but you will make the most progress if you challenge yourself to be frank. There is nothing you can say that will be a surprise to the therapist. They have heard it all before, and know how to deal with just about anything.
        4. Make notes after doing homework so you can talk to your therapist about fears and anxieties that came up. Your therapist can help you become more and more at ease asking for—and receiving—what you want and need in the bedroom.
        5. Be willing to put yourself in the emotionally vulnerable space that is required for true intimacy. Put your heart into the homework.