To Divorce or Not To Divorce?

Divorce is often devastating, especially when one or both parties adopt aggressive personas incompatible with the ones that once exchanged vows. Whether marriage conflicts have reached the point of no return, or still have a chance of being resolved, couples therapy can help guide a relationship through the process.

Before divorce

Whether you are considering divorce but are unsure whether to proceed, or if you and your partner are struggling to determine if your differences are reconcilable, couples therapy can help you move forward. The aftermath of divorce can affect your entire family and result in painful consequences, emotional and financial. There are many factors to consider, but it’s important to work through the issues instead of avoiding them, or existing in a prolonged “purgatory” that prevents both people from starting new paths in a healthy way. Facing conversations we all want to avoid are exactly what marriage therapy is made for. Your marriage might be salvageable! Broken trust can be restored, rifts can be mended, and emotional barriers can come down if both people are willing to work on it. An unbiased mediator such as a marriage counselor can help clarify each person’s needs so that you can make divorce decisions without being bogged down by the blame game.

During divorce

Divorces can be messy. You more commonly hear about “couples therapy” or “marriage counseling” but “divorce therapy” could be a category all its own, and having emotional support from a licensed therapist can be as necessary as hiring a lawyer — at the very least it will allow meetings with attorneys to focus on legal matters without as much unresolved “drama” in the way. Being overwhelmed by emotions will only complicate divorce proceedings. Therapy can help you process you and your partner’s issues and help you maintain respect for each other during this transition.

After divorce

Regardless of the tone a couple’s divorce takes, marriage counseling can be a valuable tool in helping each party survive in one piece. Continuing individual therapy after your divorce is finalized will help you deal with your sadness, anger, and frustration so that it is less likely to show up as emotional baggage in your next relationship. It will also give you a safe space to vent these emotions if you fear your friends and family are losing patience with your problems. Self-care is important at this time, and with the help of a therapist you can put yourself back together, fall in love with yourself again, and feel ready to pursue a new relationship or a new life’s calling or passion.