Couple Counseling Basics

Couples Counseling Can Solve Sexual and Emotional Problems

couple in counseling

Sexual relationships are best maintained when both individuals are actively involved; sexual satisfaction is not a one-person job. It’s important to preserve the physical and emotional bond to keep a marriage or committed relationship from becoming a glorified roommate situation.

Couples should find sex fun—a shared pleasure, a stress reducer, and a way to maintain intimacy.

Sexual Complacency is Natural, but Not Inevitable

In the beginning of most relationships, the sex is great. But when the intimacy starts to decline, the level of dissatisfaction with the relationship can increase up to 75 percent.

This is usually when partners reach out for help from someone who specializes in couples counseling—a sex therapy professional like myself here in Charlotte, NC.

Couples sex therapy is about helping both individuals make sexuality a more satisfying part of their lives. Not just intercourse, but closeness in the relationship.

It’s a circle: closeness fosters overall connection, which leads to better erotic encounters, including sexual intercourse.

Therapy for you together as a couple can get to the root of a reluctance to be intimate, help each of you discover your own sexual needs and desires, and build new communication and behavior patterns to ensure each person is satisfied in the relationship.

Sexless Marriage

As a long-time counselor who now focuses on sexual issues in the Charlotte area, I’ve noticed an increasing number of area couples having sexual dysfunctions and sexual dissatisfaction in recent years, and of special concern is the number of relationships that are nonsexual.

A sexless union is one where there are fewer than 10 sexual encounters between the couple in a year. An estimated 20% of intimate partnerships fall into this category.

Why is this a problem if both people feel OK about it? Because no sex is often a sign of deeper problems in the relationship—like resentment or boredom—which can lead to separation or divorce if not addressed.

Low sexual desire is a sexual dysfunction that I see frequently. It can be related to other sexual difficulties in either partner, such as erectile dysfunction, inhibited female orgasm or vaginismus.

I have helped many couples with this issue and I can help you.

In Couples Counseling, the Couple is the Client

Counseling in my Charlotte office focuses on the couple. The couple is the client, not each individual. That’s not to say individual work is not done—it is each individual’s responsibility to address their own nonproductive thoughts, feelings and behaviors..

If it is deemed that more individual work is needed than is normally done in sex therapy, then an additional therapist may be required. Couples therapy is usually put on hold until that counseling is complete. I can refer you to a professional for individual therapy in or near Charlotte.

How Sex Therapy for Couples Works

First, I’ll meet with both individuals at the same time. This is to assess if sex therapy is the best place for them to address their concerns, and if I’m a good fit as a couples counselor for them.

Next, I see each person individually and obtain a Sexual Health History. These questions help me get a clear, uncensored view of each partner’s psychological and sexual development.

We will also discuss attitudes and beliefs about their sexuality. This includes dating experiences, which allows the person to get comfortable with sharing personal details, and to gain confidence in talking to a sex therapist.

The next time we all meet together, I present a treatment plan for the couple in therapy. This merges my findings with the couple’s stated desire and motivation for successful treatment.

Treatment of Sexual Dysfunction in Couples

The type of treatment I do in Charlotte, NC, is focused on integrating emotional work, education and a couple’s relationship skills around the sexual dysfunction.

Whether you’re in a rebound relationship, having trouble reaching orgasm, masturbating excessively, climaxing too quickly or constantly watching porn, I’m here to improve your sex life with therapy in Charlotte, NC and the surrounding area.

The most important determination for success in couples counseling is how each person feels about the relationship and the treatment process. Couples therapy only succeeds if both people are fully committed to the union and the therapeutic process.

Sexual satisfaction is no different than any other goal we wish to achieve. What an awesome goal to pursue!

A therapist focused on couples can help you create a healthy and satisfying relationship–and life.