Couples Counseling Basics

Couples Counseling for Sexual and Emotional Problems

Sexual relationships are best maintained when both individuals are actively involved. It’s not a one-way street. A physical bonding that keeps a marriage or relationship from becoming a roommate situation.

Couples find sex as a shared pleasure, fun, a stress reducer, and a way to increase intimacy.

Like in the beginning of most relationships, the sex is great. When the sex is going well, couples don’t t pay much attention to it, but when the sexual intimacy starts to decline, then that percentage goes up from 15 percent to 75 percent. This is usually when couples reach out for help from someone who specializes in couples’ therapy. A sex therapy professional, like myself here in Charlotte, NC.

Couples sex therapy is about helping both individuals make sexuality a part of their lives again. Not just intercourse, but closeness in a relationship, marriage, etc.

This closeness, or intimacy, can lead to a good connection which leads to better erotic encounters, including sexual intercourse. The number of couples with sexual dysfunction has increased, and of special concern is the number of relationships that are currently nonsexual.

As a long time counselor focusing on sexual issues, I’ve noticed that , there’s an increasing number of couples having sexual dysfunctions and sexual dissatisfaction.

Couples Counseling: The Couple is the Client

Hypoactive sexual desire is a common reason for couples to separate within the first two years of marriage. Other common reasons are fertility issues and extramarital affairs. Thus, if you need infidelity help, I’m the local sex therapy counselor in Charlotte, North Carolina.

Couples therapy focuses on the couple. The couple is the client not the individual. That is not to say that individual work is not done… it is each individual’s responsibility to do their own work.

If it is deemed necessary that more individual work is needed, then an additional sex therapist is required. Couples therapy is most likely put on “hold” until that individual therapy is done.

How Couples Therapy Sessions Work

First, I’ll meet with both individuals at the same time. This is to assess if sex therapy is the best place for them to address their concerns, and if I’m a good fit as a sex therapy counselor for them as well.

Next, I meet with each person individually and obtain a sexual health history. These questions are conducted to get a clear, uncensored view of their relational, psychological and sexual development.

We will also discuss attitudes and beliefs about their sexuality. This includes past dating experiences. This allows the person to get comfortable with sharing personal details and to gain confidence in talking to their new sex therapist.

The next time we all meet together again, a treatment plan is presented for the couple in therapy. This is a collaboration of my findings and the couples desire and motivation for successful sex therapy treatment.

Treatment of Sexual Dysfunction in Couples

This type of sex treatment is focused on integrating couple’s relationship skills, emotional work and education around the sexual dysfunction. The sexual dysfunction, low sexual desire, is one that I see frequently. This can also lead to an entirely sexless marriage.

Low sexual desire is a “couples’ thing”. It can be related to other sexual difficulties in either partner, such as erectile dysfunction, inhibited female orgasm, or vaginismus.

The most important determination for success in sex therapy is commitment to your relationship and the process. Couples will not succeed in relationship therapy if they are not committed.

Some words of advice? It is no different than any other goal in life we wish to achieve. And what an awesome goal to want to pursue! A relationship therapist can gear you towards those goals and desires you’ve been striving for. Whether you’re in a rebound relationship, having trouble reaching orgasms, masturbating excessively, coming too fast, watching porn all day and night. These are just some examples that fall under my area of expertise.